Direction of Happiness : Leaving a Relationship ...

One of the hardest decisions we ever make in life is leaving a long-term relationship that just isn’t working. When attempts at repairing and working out issues aren’t working, it may be time to examine moving on. We are emotional creatures, and when our heartstrings are tied to those of another, separating from that person can feel like an act of courage. It is not something most of us will take lightly, and many of us will struggle with our desire to stay in a relationship that is unfulfilling simply in order to avoid that pain. We may question whether the happiness we seek even exists, and we may wonder if we might be wiser to simply settle where we are, making the best of what we have.

On the one hand, we almost relish the idea that true happiness is not out there so that we can avoid the pain of change. On the other hand, we feel within ourselves a yearning to fulfill our desire for relationships that are vital and healing. Ultimately, most of us will follow this call, because deep within ourselves we know that we deserve to be happy. We all deserve to be happy, no matter where we find ourselves in this moment, and we are all justified in moving, like plants toward the light, in the direction that leads to our greatest fulfillment. First, though, we may need to summon the courage to move on from the relationship that appears to be holding us back.

Taking the first steps will be hard, but the happiness we find when we have freed ourselves from a situation that is draining our energy will outshine any hardship we undergo to get there. Keeping our eyes trained on the horizon, we begin the work of disentangling ourselves from the relationship that no longer fits. Every step brings us closer to a relationship that will work, and the freedom we need to find the happiness we deserve.

dailyom

Chinese New Year =)

So its officially Chinese New Year Weekend and another new year to wishing good fortune, harmony, and prosperity. This is the year of the ox. Gung Hei Fat Choi!!

I think the American New Year didn't do it for me so I hope that this Chinese New Year will bring me more strength, wisdom, and happiness. Last year was so draining and full of struggles. None that I regret at all, just it's time to breathe out all the tension and disappoints and move forward. Yes!! One day at a time....

So Sunday I'm heading to Hong Kong Wok to pick up the roast duck. Yuummy! And taking that down to my mom's house to add to the dinner entrees. She makes great food around this time. It's all so light and colorful. I should take some pictures. Speaking of which, I just got a new camera from costco. My other one broke and the auto focus is all messed up. So I got one for about $99 bucks. Not bad eh?!

My dad is actually going to be in Vietnam & China for the New Years. He should be back in mid March. I'm excited for him, he definitely needs a vacation and I can tell he's had alot on his mind. Hopefully he'll find another element of himself in his travels. I will miss him dearly. Wishing him a strong and happy trip.

We're closed on Monday for the New Years so that will be very nice and relaxing. I plan to have a nice Mylan day. =)

The Real Thing: Love Should Feel Good

Often in our lives, we fall prey to the idea of a thing rather than actually experiencing the thing itself. We see this at play in our love lives and in the love lives of our friends, our family, and even fictional characters. The conceptualizing, depiction, and pursuit of true love are multimillion-dollar industries in the modern world. However, very little of what is offered actually leads us to an authentic experience of love. Moreover, as we grasp for what we think we want and fail to find it, we may suffer and bring suffering to others. When this is the case, when we suffer more than we feel healed, we can be fairly certain that what we have found is not love but something else.

When we feel anxious, excited, nervous, and thrilled, we are probably experiencing romance, not love. Romance can be a lot of fun as long as we do not try to make too much of it. If we try to make more of it than it is, the romance then becomes painful. Romance may lead to love, but it may also fade without blossoming into anything more than a flirtation. If we cling to it and try to make it more, we might find ourselves pining for a fantasy, or worse, stuck in a relationship that was never meant to last.

Real love is identifiable by the way it makes us feel. Love should feel good. There is a peaceful quality to an authentic experience of love that penetrates to our core, touching a part of ourselves that has always been there. True love activates this inner being, filling us with warmth and light. An authentic experience of love does not ask us to look a certain way, drive a certain car, or have a certain job. It takes us as we are, no changes required. When people truly love us, their love for us awakens our love for ourselves. They remind us that what we seek outside of ourselves is a mirror image of the lover within. In this way, true love never makes us feel needy or lacking or anxious. Instead, true love empowers us with its implicit message that we are, always have been, and always will be, made of love.

Going Deep: Self-Examination at Depth

There are times when life urges us to seek more. Small changes to our comfort zone may fail to alleviate any sense of stagnancy or frustration, and we may need to examine our lives and ourselves more deeply to find the right place to start. Everything we need for success and joy lies within. But so often, life’s debris accumulates, building layers around our core that makes it difficult to access the truth that resides within. To reach the depth we wish to access, we must dive below these layers to the deepest parts of ourselves.

The first layer can be found in our minds. Our to-do lists and busy work are usually less important than we think, so we must look past them to examine the thoughts that matter most to us. The next layer can be found in our hearts, where past hurts and disappointments can sometimes cover up our vulnerabilities, as well as the truth of who and what really stirs the love within us. We can choose to go even deeper – to our center. If we can go beyond anything has affected us to the point that it blocks us at the gut level, we can reconnect with our power, our raw instincts, our organic yeses. Here, at the core, lies our truth. Our core is our foundation that supports us and what we’d like to build our authentic life upon.

When we examine ourselves to these depths, we are able to find what we wish to bring to the surface and what we wish to let go. When we remember what lies beneath our layers, we can look at what was floating on the surface, causing blocks and pains, and understand the purpose that they served. Oftentimes, it is the built up debris that causes us to go deeper, so we can search for the truth. Go deep, live life from your truth within, and watch your innate beauty manifest outward.

dailyom

Tonight.

I started the morning out writing something, and now I get this sudden rush to want to write something more .

Today was a typical day at work and things were going well. But later on in the afternoon I got news about, lets call it a "serious matter". I was at fault with the situation. I took the short road out and now I must meet my consequences. What's done is done. I am very angry and disappointed at myself.

The feeling haunted me throughout the day... I barely remember driving home, I was so dazed. I kept saying things like, "what if you just..." "why didnt you..." "how can you..." I got home and tried to do things to get my mind off the whole sitation , but it didn't work. I started to have a disgusting feeling in my stomach. I must have been just so angry with myself. The whole fightclub feeling emerged from me for a moment. I wanted to kick some sense into me!

Then IT hit me. IT being the reality of my life and my choices. Maybe what happened earlier today crossed the line and I finally for once...stopped and opened my eyes. The wave of passion and clarity emerged from me and I immediately grabbed a pen and paper.

I sat down and wrote a letter to myself. An intense self-reflection in words I felt very close to my heart. I know now what is right, what is truth, and what is me. And if I still don't know these things before I die, I will have lived a life not for me.

Good Night.

::...happy new year...::

It's officially here... YEAR 2009!

Sacramento had their very first ball drop this year... It was nothing close to the one they have in Times Square... but I was pleased that they did something like this for the Sac town community. So pre-drank, walked around downtown, saw great people, warm feelings, got wasted, fell many times, sores & bruises all over the body. Blah! I don't really remember falling as much as I was told. haha.

Anyhoo. Holiday break was lovely as planned. Good times with the people I care most about. So I have to say life is looking up.

My new years resolution:
1) Bring the business to great heights! (soon to be incorporated! yay!)
2) Be healthier and more active (lots of Vitamin C!)
3) Less drama and more happy times (no more faking the funk!)
4) Surrounding myself with better company (good people)
5) Patience, Hope, and Love are my three objectives! =)

PS. Check out the Cal Signs 2009 Calendar Crew! (www.mycalsigns.com)