Tonight.

I started the morning out writing something, and now I get this sudden rush to want to write something more .

Today was a typical day at work and things were going well. But later on in the afternoon I got news about, lets call it a "serious matter". I was at fault with the situation. I took the short road out and now I must meet my consequences. What's done is done. I am very angry and disappointed at myself.

The feeling haunted me throughout the day... I barely remember driving home, I was so dazed. I kept saying things like, "what if you just..." "why didnt you..." "how can you..." I got home and tried to do things to get my mind off the whole sitation , but it didn't work. I started to have a disgusting feeling in my stomach. I must have been just so angry with myself. The whole fightclub feeling emerged from me for a moment. I wanted to kick some sense into me!

Then IT hit me. IT being the reality of my life and my choices. Maybe what happened earlier today crossed the line and I finally for once...stopped and opened my eyes. The wave of passion and clarity emerged from me and I immediately grabbed a pen and paper.

I sat down and wrote a letter to myself. An intense self-reflection in words I felt very close to my heart. I know now what is right, what is truth, and what is me. And if I still don't know these things before I die, I will have lived a life not for me.

Good Night.